Reconnected

My first book this year that falls under the title of “Summer reading” was by tic-tocker/blogger/author Carlos Whitaker. Like most of the planet today, Carlos had a screen addiction. At one point he was on his phone over seven hours a day. He saw what that kind of activity was doing to his relationships and his family and decided to do a little test.

After conducting extensive research on the (negative) power of screen use, Carlos set out on a quest. A journey with absolutely zero electronic influence. And do that he did. Carlos spent seven weeks straight without a single screen. No phone, no TVs, nada. He went absolute cold turkey. You may ask what methodology he leaned on to achieve this seemingly impossible feat. How can ANYONE avoid screens for that long? Here was Carlos’ secret sauce…..

He spent four weeks with Monks living their life in a California monastery, then did a three week stint with an Amish family in Ohio. No technology, just Carlos and his journal. The end product was his latest book, Reconnected. It was a solid read with a few key points sprinkled throughout the book. Here are my takeaways…..

First, the data and any reasonable human being know that when we overuse our devices we become less present. Carlos talked about this for a good portion of the book, however it was one specific statement he made that jumped off the page to me. Near the end of his stay with the Monks he wrote, “Our presence has the ability to change not only our lives, but the lives of others. I want some more of that, please. That life changing presence.” A great thought about our relationship with our phones.

Second, Carlos wrote an entire chapter on the subject of solitude. More specifically, about being able to be with yourself and your thoughts on a daily basis. He asked for all of his followers to insert solitude back into their lives. By doing so he said, we will live a more fulfilling life while not letting your life live you. Another statement in the win column there.

Lastly, the book covers one of the main tenets of the Amish lifestyle. They eat meals together, at the dining room table, every day, at the same time. In his chapter titled “The Table” Carlos walks through the positive attributes of dining as a family together on a consistent basis. The list is long and you can imagine how breaking bread with your family and friends daily (without technology of any kind) can have a supremely positive impact on people’s lives.

The key elements of the success of the table are to eat at the table proper (not the kitchen counter or on the couch while the TV is on), do so routinely, have everyone help in the preparation of the meal, and absolutely no tech at any time. One data point Carlos pointed out here. The average American meal lasts 12 minutes. 12 minutes, unbelievable right? In the early 1900s that number was 90 minutes. During his time with the Amish none of the dinners lasted less than two hours, with some going much longer.

Most of us, including me, can become a slave to technology. Carlos’ book shows us all a few things we can do to mitigate that challenge. For me, the table one is pretty awesome. We can get back to our family roots and spend meaningful time together without letting this world we live in control the outcomes.

This week, be present. Give some time for solitude and thought. I will meet you at the table.